{"product_id":"officer-i-can-explain-unisex-bio-tee","title":"Officer, I Can Explain Unisex Bio Tee","description":"This olive-green cotton tee carries a wry outdoor attitude: a cartoon bear stands guard beside a porch post with the cheeky slogan “Touch my package and find out.” It feels rugged but lighthearted — like a campfire joke you’d wear on a weekend run to the feed store or while trimming the yard. The medium-weight, tubular-knit fabric gives the shirt a vintage, substantial hand while staying breathable for all-season wear. The ribbed collar, shoulder tape and tear-away label keep it comfortable and durable through many washes. Wear it with jeans, work boots, or layered under a flannel when the temperature drops to show off a playful, protective sense of humor that reads loud and clear from across the driveway.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Environmentally-friendly, medium-weight cotton with a thicker vintage feel (6.0 oz\/yd²).\u003cbr\u003e- Runs larger than standard sizing for a relaxed, roomy fit.\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular knit (no side seams) reduces waste and creates a clean silhouette.\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed, seam-free collar and shoulder tape for shape retention and durability.\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label and OEKO-TEX® certified materials; multiple fiber blends available (solid cotton and heather\/antique blends).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not tumble dry\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not 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